okay.

he's away hunting for four days and i kinda can't breathe? i'm doing better than previous days of separation.. i only cried friday night, saturday morning when we said goodbye, and after he called me saturday night. no crying today. I'M A SURVIVOR.

i ate a lot of food and watched a lot of netflix. (including a ridiculous documentary about vogue and a ton of parks & recreation episodes.) i also cleaned the entire house, top to bottom. except the kitchen. because i need to save stuff to do tomorrow night. i might make soup? oh, and i took a 2 hour nap.

so, there you have it. day two is almost over!

what's the point?

the point is.. i've kinda lost my point. and i'm kinda tired of thinking about everything i used to do, and the places i used to go, and the people i used to know. thing is, i sit here with one contact lens in, no money in the bank, my boyfriend wants more alone time, i'm frustrated with my job (or perhaps the lack of a decent one), and.. oh, i'm pretty sure my foot is broken. so, yeah. i'd rather think about the days i spent hours with my camera all over the place (i don't have one right now) and the nights i spent with friends (don't really have those anymore, either?) and the copious amounts of travel i somehow afforded, even if it was just all those weekends in new york or philadelphia. 

 

so, the world for me is.. feels a little empty. i came here for an us, and us is doing well.. but.. i'm in a place in life that i'm just getting to know.. and i didn't bring a lot of myself with me, so it probably doesn't know me at all. it's like i need to regrow a few pieces of my identity and share it.. maybe it will remember me?

 

i just want to make art again and remember what it's like to be content & alone (and that's it okay to be alone) and love my boyfriend with every inch of my soul and look at new places and talk about it (whatever it is) with people (whoever they are) and take a walk and a drive and a drink and write about it all again here.

lunch break.

here!

i love him forever.

goals for the weekend..

+ run at least once, maybe twice if i can find the energy.

+ clean. a lot. as well as all of the other little house projects i have on my mind.

+ bake french bread and maybe some cinnamon buns?

+ make angel soup. that is happening tonight.

+ drink a lot of wine.

+ take pictures. preferably at the cemetery.

+ remember to feed kitty.

+ do not max out credit card while shopping tomorrow.

+ try not to cry! (so far, so good) (movies or tv don't count.. ..ha)

from our street.